Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Awkward revisited..

If you've been reading our blog for a while now, you probably remember this post on the awkward things that have happened or have been said to me so far in the pregnancy.  Granted, this was written right around the half-way mark, but still, I had started to show at that point, and people were curious.

Everyone said that the questions and situations would get much more awkward and ridiculous in the coming weeks, and so far, I have not been disappointed.  With less than 6 weeks until D-Day, I'll do one more update of this at the very end, and I'm sure those ones will be the best, but until then, these are common occurrences/conversations I've had lately.

1) You look tired, are you getting enough sleep at night? Even if i weren't, how is this meant to sound caring in any way/shape/form?  The only way this is ever interpreted to a woman (pregnant or not) is that it is a somehwat polite way of saying that you look like crap that day.  Awesome. 
2) Here, let me get that for you. No matter if i drop something, try to open a door, grab a ream of paper or try to climb a ladder, I'm to the point in my pregnancy where I'm apparently able to do nothing.
3) People have now transitioned from asking how far along I am to how much longer I have left.  I know that in the grand scheme of things, I am still on the small side of the beached whale pregnancy spectrum, but to have the confirmation that I am starting to look as big as I feel- Sweet.
4) You don't look pregnant at all- from the back!  At this point, I take this as a HUGE compliment!  I know that the flip side of that comment probably contains a silent something related to me looking big from the side and blah blah blah, but hey, I don't look like a fatty mcfatfat from the back. Score.
5) People (close friends mainly) have asked if my feet have started to swell. I use to think this was them looking out for me, concerned about my well being, etc. but it turns out that if my feet swell enough, I have to buy new shoes and donate my current ones.  This made me stop and think- those asking the most are people with whom I could share shoes with... Convenient.
6) If someone sees me eyeing a cookie or any item of food, they smile and ask if the baby wants it.  No, the baby doesn't want it, I do!  I wont disguise my want of whatever you're eating as the baby 'needing' it! I'm pregnant and I'm irrationally hungry for no reason.
7) I have slowly taken on the form of my future 80 year old self.  On the weekends, my outfit of choice consists of my VS bathrobe, paint stained sweat pants, mismatched slippers/socks and a side pony.  Make-up is not even a thought, and you'll be lucky if I've brushed my teeth after my morning cup of coffee. Sexy.
8) Wardrobe. Working in a law firm, my work attire has taken a hit lately due to the growing baby in my belly.  Yes, maternity clothes have come a long way and all that, but when i was use to wearing heels and dresses a majority of the time, these items are not so good for pregnancy.  I am to the point now where i wear whatever is comfortable, matching or not, and more often than not when I'm at home, my belly is hanging out of the bottom of a t-shirt from pre-baby times.  Yes, I know I should care, but no, I do not. #sorrynotsorry
9) People are acutely aware of my 'cravings'.  Friends, family members, and mostly my amazing husband have gotten into the habit of calling or texting me when they're on their way over to our house to see if I need or want anything.  B usually calls me on his way home from night classes just to make sure that I don't need anything for the rest of the night.  I love that man.
10) Men's reaction.  We are to the point in the pregnancy where i am undeniably showing, and men can no longer risk confusing my baby belly with the remnants of a big lunch.  Yes, they still dont really talk to me about it, but rather than just stare awkwardly at the belly and walk away, they will at least acknowledge its' presence before mumbling something and shuffling away.
11) Women's reaction.  Women have always been more willing to talk to me about the baby, but it is to the point now where strangers ask how things are going.  Mainly women from church, but it is so sweet to see someone take in my current appearance and not only see them reminisce momentarily but kindly ask how I am, and to know they geniuinely care. 
12) Sleeping is inappropriate places is now a forgivable offense.  Not from experience, but it turns out that pregnancy is the one time in life that it is slightly forgivable to fall asleep at your desk.  Three times now (immediately after my lunch hour- give me some credit) I've been woken up by a co-worker opening my door to ask for help with something.  They just smile and ask if i need anything, and then ask me for help with whatever job they needed. 
13) Concern for my diet. Yes, there are all sorts of "rules and regulations" of what pregnant women can or can't eat, and while i appreciate the well wishes that are behind the questions, having you ask me "Should you really be drinking that coffee..?" with disapproving mom eyes the minute I walk through the office door doesn't help.  I showed up for work, roughly on time (5 minutes late..always..) and I'm dressed.  My coffee is my saving grace right now and if I didn't want it so badly, I'd throw it at you.
14) Restrooms. Until you're pregnant, you never really realize the height difference between the handicap accessible toilets vs. the others.  Not only are the handicap accessible toilets much higher off the ground, but I am also able to walk into the stall and shut the door without hitting my stomach on its' way closed. 
15) Body Awkward. I've read all sorts of books, blogs, journals and talked to numerous people, but one body awkward that no-one ever told me about: while sitting in a dress, my pregnant belly would rest on my thighs.  Sexy.
16) Body positioning.  I cant remember the last time in recent months that I've sat up straight in a chair.  The baby is now large enough that when i sit down, if he/she is positioned just right, i can't bend in half properly.  The head has become comfortably wedged in/under my ribs all.the.time. , and sitting in a slightly reclined position in my desk chair is much more comfortable.
17) Belly Button oddities. Having what I would call an 'in-betweenie' belly button prior to pregnancy, the odd (and nearly flat) shape that I currently have fascinates me in the wierdest way.  Looking at photos, i can remember what it looked like, but after the baby arrives and my belly button returns back to its normal state, I can't even comprehend it.
18) Belly=Musical thoughts. For whatever reason, whenever people ask me about the baby (how he/she is doing, how I'm feeling, etc.) rather than touch or gently rub my stomach gently like a normal pregnant lady, i somehow feel the need to play it like a drum. Everytime.  3 or 4 pats with both hands.  I know I need to not do this, I'm sure the baby will come out all bobble-headed and what not, but having this large mass attached to the front of my body is so odd to me, and it makes me feel like i need to react oddly to it rather than normally. Apparently.


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